A childhood best friend is a mirror.
Not the kind that shows you only what you want to see, but the one that reflects everything — your strengths, your flaws, your moods, your silences and sometimes even the things you are trying to hide from yourself.
There are no filters between us.
When a friendship has travelled almost four decades, care takes on a different meaning. We become fiercely sensitive and protective of each other. Somewhere along the way, without ever saying it aloud, we began to consider each other our responsibility.
We don’t think twice before giving an opinion, even an uncomfortable one, because we know it comes from a place of genuine concern. We worry about each other. We check. We question. We advise. And sometimes we irritate each other doing it!
But both of us know where it comes from.
Care. Pure, genuine care.
We are each other’s safest secret keepers. We know each other’s likes and dislikes at the back of our hands. We know what makes the other happy and exactly what can irritate her.
Sometimes we already know the answer, yet we still ask the question.
And our telepathy? After all these years, even we are amazed by it. One look, one word, sometimes just a pause — and we know.
Now, in middle age, I realise how rare this is.
Of course we can make new friends. But can we recreate something that has taken almost four decades to build?
Probably not.
Because friendships like ours require something that cannot be hurried — time.
Years of patience, understanding, adjusting, accepting and simply being there. We have watched each other grow through different versions of ourselves. Life changed. We changed. Our worlds became bigger.
But we remained us.
Four decades also means our friendship has passed through its own little tests. We have upset each other at times, but never enough to forget what we mean to one another. Whenever something felt bigger in that moment, it didn’t take long for both of us to realise that nothing was bigger than everything we had built together.
And ours has never been a friendship known only to the two of us.
Our families and friends have been witnesses to this beautiful bond through the years. They have seen us grow from little girls into the women we are today. They have watched our friendship travel through different stages of life, and in some way, they too have become part of its story.
Some have known us from the very beginning. Others came into our lives much later. But they all know one thing — Lochana and Anita come with a history.
A history that doesn’t need explaining.
There is also an invisible circle of loyalty around our friendship.
People may know either of us. They may have their opinions. But neither of us needs to know the other through somebody else’s version.
You don’t need to tell me about her. I know her.
And I know she feels exactly the same about me.
That protectiveness comes from knowing how many years, memories, secrets, tears, laughter and pieces of life sit between two people.
Almost four decades.
And today, on your birthday, Lochu, I realise that I am not merely wishing my best friend.
I am celebrating someone who holds almost an entire lifetime of me.
You knew the little girl I was.
You know the woman I have become.
And somewhere between those two, you have been there through it all.
And today I also want to say something I perhaps don’t say enough.
Thank you for choosing me.
Thank you for choosing me as your friend all those years ago, and for continuing to choose our friendship through every changing season of our lives.
I also know that in recent times, I may not always have been as visible or as present as I could have been. But perhaps birthdays are beautiful reminders not just to look back, but also to look ahead.
So here’s my little promise to you.
I will make the effort to be around more.
Not because almost four decades need proving, but because the years ahead deserve our time too. There are still conversations to be had, laughter to be shared, memories to be created and so much life left for us to witness in each other.
May life always be gentle with you. May you be blessed with health, peace and happiness, and may this beautiful, unspoken bond between us remain exactly what it has always been — protective, honest, unfiltered and ours.
Almost four decades behind us, and somewhere inside us are still those two little girls who chose each other as friends without ever knowing how much of life they would eventually share.
And if life gave me the chance to go back and choose my childhood all over again,
I would still choose you to grow up with.
Thank you for choosing me then.
Thank you for choosing me through all these years.
And my promise is to keep choosing you — and us — in all the years still waiting for us.
Happy birthday, my dearest Lochu. ❤️
Blessmesai 