A very strong pillar of our family.Mother of six kids.My dad was the second eldest.Kingscircle (Rekhakunj,Mumbai) was their nest for many many years.

An amazing personality – strong,strict,principled,genius cook and the list is just endless.

She never pampered us through words or physically demonstrated her love.She always ensured we got everything we needed especially our favorite dishes prepared by her.

I remember her big pottu (bindi),her diamond nose rings pierced on both nostrils and silver grey hair always neatly tied in a little bun.

One could always feel her positive aura when she was around.

How can I miss mentioning – she was a great cricket fan and would never miss watching a match.Her children and grandchildren have inherited the love for sports from her.

Her six kids – my aunts,uncles and dad have been brought up with so much of principles and discipline.

The siblings together are great fun (Hindi is their medium of communication when they are together).They do have their share of banters and arguments but the inner strength and their bond is unbreakable.

All of them talk the same way,it’s kind of funny at times though we are immune to it by now…most of the sentences would begin with amma (this happens even today)- They were all very close to their mother.

In today’s world we barely get to see this kind of bonding amongst siblings.

My mom takes the pride to say that all the cooking she knows ,she learnt from her mother in law. I have never heard anything negative from her about her inlaws.She is very close to all my aunts and uncles and so are they.My dad passed away 22 years back but nothing ever changed.My uncles and aunts are still very close to us and never make us feel our dads no more.

Hats off to my grandmother’s upbringing,where can we find such relatives these days.

When my grandmother was alive,every weekend we cousins would meet up in my grandparents home,spend the day and sometimes night too.In a one bed room house we have eaten together ,played,slept and created memories for a lifetime.

My kids today aren’t so lucky to meet up with cousins regularly like we used to.Geographical distance does not permit.

Today raising two kids feels like a full time job.

She raised six outstanding kids ,inculcated all the values which are getting passed generation after generation.

May her pure soul rest in peace.

A small tribute to her 🙏

This is a story about 3 people who met in school in grade 8 and were together next 3 years of schooling and later on 5 years of college.

Good enough time together isn’t it?

But we never became friends.We did not go beyond Hi and an immediate Bye to follow.

Since we lived in the same neighborhood bumping into each other was a normal affair which continued even after we graduated and went on for a fairly long time but we chose to remain just an acquaintance.

After about more than two decades of knowing each other not beyond names we landed up in place away from home.A small,quiet and warm country where we didn’t know much people.Coming from a place where we had a good social life we found ourselves getting lonely.

Through school social group we found out we were in the same country.It was good to see known names but again who would take the first step to write.

There was a comfort in the mind that somebody you know lived close by.

Our situation was weird we had known each other for years but never attempted to build a bond for our own reasons and now after so many years we had preconceived notions to make the first move.

Couple of months passed by and we continued the silence.My hubby used to travel 5 days a week and was only available in the weekends.Kids were busy in their school and activities.Homesickness had creeped in and that was surely not a trait I wanted to carry so I decided to make the first move.I sent a message to them and to my surprise I received a reply in few minutes.We spoke over the phone for the first time just to realize that we were sailing in the same boat carrying the same fear of rejection.

We decided to meet to soon for brunch.Only one drove so she offered to pick us from our homes which was very kind.

Then came the day,after seeing off the kids to school I quickly wrapped up my morning chores and got ready like an excited school girl going for a play date 😊.

I was the first one to be picked.Tough to believe but when we met there was a flow of emotions.After a warm hug we headed to pick the third one.On the way we spoke without any hesitance or awkwardness.

She was an amazing driver but there was something I discovered that day about her for which we tease her till today.Her amazing memory gosh she just can’t remember anything 🤣.With great difficulty she remembered the name of the place where the 3rd one was waiting.

Unfortunately we couldn’t locate it and I called her up.She read the sign board behind her and I quickly typed on the GPS to reach no where 🤦‍♀️.I called her up again and with the same level of confidence she read it.Finally I asked her to look around and tell me if there was any landmark or school.Thankfully it was a small country so we could take exits.She told me about a school and to our sheer luck I knew the place as my son went to the same area for his activities.We got there and saw her it was such a relief.We had never given each other such a broad and genuine smile in so many years.

The happiness of finding each other was very overwhelming.

We were still not very good friends so politely I asked her ,”where is the board you were reading out to me?” Sheepishly she pointed out because by then she had realized she was reading something on the opposite side.

That day I discovered something about both of them.Amazing memory and Unbeatable sense of direction.

All this hide and seek had got us late for brunch but we managed to get there before they closed.

One of them loved taking pictures-selfies of us and food.She wanted to put it up on social media and announce about this friendship that took off in a foreign land.She asked me to help with the caption which I happily did.

We didn’t want this brunch to ever end.There was so much to exchange,share and giggle about.People around could have never guessed that it was our first time.

Little did we know that this was the beginning of an epic friendship.In our case transition from just friends to inseparable friends happened in no time.We had actually surprised ourselves kicking it off so well and creating everlasting memories.We shared more than any relationship that pre-existed.

Can never ever trade this friendship for anyone.

We wasted too many years not talking and that’s one regret we carry.

They were both working and I was a home maker but we genuinely made time for each other.Our meetings increased from brunches to breakfast then to lunches.

We decided to meet as family with our spouses.Luckily that clicked – we were happy with the fact our spouses could bear each other as we were just trying to create more avenues to meet.From playing Holi to celebrating each other’s birthday and festivals together had become a ritual.

We have had some amazing and hilarious experiences in our dates.

Yes you read it right our meetings were no less than a date.

Unfortunately today we are once again in 3 different countries.

The amazing bond that we created in such a short while taught us distance doesn’t matter at all.Our hearts are connected (may sound like a cliche).We don’t need to be physically around each other.

Irony of life is such we had a lot of opportunities and time in our growing up years to bond but we were destined to meet overseas 😉.Waiting to meet again in our Homeland soon.Praying for this covid mayhem to come to an end.

Virtual Hugs till then 🤗🧿

(Some maybe able to guess the names 😉)

In my growing up years I never feared to explore and have done quite a bit of stunts scaring the hell out of my parents.

I used to be a good cyclist and have cycled a lot and far in distance hiding away from my parents.

I enjoyed our family long drives and waited to turn 18 and sit behind the wheels.

Little did I know about this phobia till I started learning to drive.I was taken back the first time I learned that I had a fear for something.I took a break thinking it could just be a temporary phase.

Some traumas of childhood also lead to phobias as some have ever lasting impact on your mind and behavior.

But nothing changed I slowly learnt I had this hidden phobia.I wanted to fight it but I lost.

In so many years this is one fear I haven’t been able to conquer.The thought of sitting behind the wheel and getting out on the road has been the most petrifying thought for years.

Like one cannot learn swimming by reading a book, one also cannot learn driving just by attending driving lessons.My mind could never relax behind the wheel and over the years my fears have hardened more.

My better half has been a very encouraging person but he also finally gave into the fear I had.He never accused me or belittled me for not being able to drive a 4-wheel.He also made me understand that we could not fight all our phobias and it’s ok to not drive.I should just accept it and move on.

Conquering our fears is important but at the same time we must also learn to accept that it is perfectly fine that you cannot conquer them all.

I truly admire the women who drive the 4-wheel confidently and fearlessly.

Many people tell me that because I don’t drive I restrict myself from being independent.

What is independence for you may not be independence to me.Frankly I don’t feel that way – I walk a lot,use public transport-metros.In the bargain I make some friends,observe behavior and get to hear a lot of stories which assist me in my writing.

I have gone through tough times when my children were small – but who doesn’t face challenges .

My husband has never criticized me for not being able to drive instead always stood up for me when friends or relatives made a passing statement – That’s what I call a blessing …

He talks more about what I do and makes me feel worthy enough to stand up for myself.

We are interdependent on each other and function like a team.

So next time let’s discuss do’s more than don’ts.Maybe then you may not feel like having this conversation again.Its always easy to embarrass people .

I have quite a few friends like me who face these questions often,all I want to say is “Not being behind the wheel doesn’t make you less competent”.

When you can have cooks for cooking and other helpers for other tasks having driver is no big deal …

Most important thing , it’s our personal choice so suggest only when asked.

The sports ecosystem in India is of poor quality inspite of measures taken by the government.Lack of sponsors,no world class infrastructure and government apathy results in poor performance of our Athletes in the international events.

Cricket is the most popular sport followed by Tennis and Hockey.Rest are just ignored and considered like a leisure sport.

Sports as a profession is largely condemned. Education is considered a pre-requisite to attain success and gateway to successful careers.

Sports is barely given any importance in schools and occupies a very small part of the school syllabus.Weightage given to education is so high that Physical Education is literally squeezed in the school timetable.In the choice given between the Education and Sports the former always wins.Well the choice given is always a formality.

Have you ever thought about this ?

We have long coastlines yet we have no culture of surfing or deep-sea diving. Indian beaches have more people coming there for picnics and sand castles than swimming hence it’s not maintained the way it should be.We have snow-clad mountains, but very few take up skiing.Most things are considered as leisure activities.

Life of a sportsmen is presented more like a struggle and less of his achievement. A profession that guarantees financial safety is what is discussed in most homes.

Most companies who provide educational allowance is strictly for school education and none of them encourage sports or arts specifically.

The costs of equipments and other facilities can be very high for middle class families that rules out the under privileged fully.A small example if you consider sports then comes protein supplements which are mostly imported and could be expensive for our players in comparison to their own.

Our players do not get to participate in all competitions just a few selected ones as the registration and travel costs are high.

Multinationals only sponsor famous sports rest are for the government to fund.

How can we forget “Politics” it has dominated almost all spheres of Indian sports. Discrimination on the basis of region at the time of selection is prevalent to all sports including cricket.

Nothing will change until we change our attitude. For these sports to attract sponsorship and private funding we need to promote them from school level.It should be given equal importance like academics.Schools need to adopt the holistic approach for the wellbeing of their children.When we start to acknowledge and appreciate is when we will see further change in the system.Transparency must be brought in the selection procedure. Government should reward deserving players with jobs and remuneration.

There are very few universities which provide sports quota in the higher eduction. Similar reservations must be made in universities too.

A state-level gold medal winner in athletics gets far less coverage in the media than a student scoring the first rank in boards or some competitive exam.

A player sweats himself like any other academic professional and his dedication should be acknowledged and respected not ignored by the nation.

Disclaimer – “Fun Post” written on the basis of stories and experiences from friends.

Is it better to be the eldest, youngest, or the middle child?

Everybody has a biased opinion towards it 😊

Birth order only explains a small part of who we are.The roles that we play in our growing up years makes us different from one another.

First Born-For parents it’s their first experience which makes them either

overprotective or extremely strict as they are under pressure to display their parenting skills.

First borns aka experiment child only have their parents as role models so they learn to lead and come across confident.Also the fact that they do not have older siblings to tease them or pick on them in their day to day activities gives them the additional confidence. They receive undivided attention till the time a new member comes in.They are forced to be a role model to their younger siblings and that can be a hidden pressure on them.For parents it becomes easy to put responsibility on them.

Middle Borns – They will be very different to the first borns.Their traits are the hardest to categorize.For them parental attention is always divided.They carry this perception that the older sibling is eligible to a lot of privileges and the youngest gets away with whatever he\she does.Hence they tend to grow up to be a negotiator.They are reliable and diplomatic by nature.They feel less pressured compared to the older sibling.They become more independent as they feel left out\overlooked\undervalued being the “sandwich kid”.

Youngest\Last born -The “baby” of the family.They are more social,fun-loving,relaxed and usually the risk takers too.The youngest kid many a times feels that he\she is not taken seriously in the house.They also get compared to their older siblings often.Being the youngest gives them some privileges like manipulating and shying away from responsibilities.They have more freedom compared to their siblings.Parents by then become more relaxed 😊.

Eldest,Middle,Youngest all have its own pros and cons –

You can share your experiences too ♥️

Mumbai’s local trains are the lifeline of the city. Carrying more than eight million people each day to and fro.

Travelling on them is once in a lifetime experience.

I was in college when I started travelling on the local trains. It was a short commute from Goregaon to Andheri where I studied. I still remember the sound,the smell of the rust in the rains and the buzz around me each time the train entered the station.Those were the days when the mobile phones did not exist.If you happen to take the trains same time every day you would surely bump into familiar faces.Striking a conversation with the fellow commuters was very normal.Longer the travel time more the communication and bonding.

You believe it or not relationships were built in these over crowded coaches. There have been times when I have hung onto the footboard of the train, trying to push my way into the coach packed with people and suddenly I would feel an arm swing around my waist comforting me.I would have missed 2-3 trains already before I got into this one where I could just manage hanging.

When I started working I used to travel to Churchgate daily from Goregaon.We had around 3 locals for the peak morning hours at different times (meaning they depart from Goregaon).You may feel it’s so convenient that it’s the starting point.Getting into the train was an art that actually needed lots of practice. The challenge was to board the train before it stopped.I always timed my jump, leaping inside the coach and grabbing the handle of the door or the arm of another commuter to steady myself.

If I am lucky enough to find a seat, I feel a sense of accomplishment.Four can sit comfortably on the seat but five would sit and the sixth one fights to squeeze in.Even before the train departed the people standing would start asking where would you get off and book their place.

Aroma of the freshly baked Parle G biscuits cannot be missed when you are nearing the Vile Parle station.

You will find different groups of commuters – some singing their favourite Bollywood songs,play cards placing them on the flat brief case,singing bhajans just to wile away the time.

“Ladies compartment”, a coach reserved for women would be vibrant with different shades of sarees,clinging glass bangles and loads of laughter. Some days you have young girls making their way into the compartment to sell earrings,bindis or even dupattas.

Gossip was common -women discussed their “in-laws”,men moaned about “office politics” and talking Bollywood was a common feature.

People actually looked forward to their train journey and missing “their train”could make them really grumpy.An emotion that can only be understood by a Mumbaikar.

During the festival times each one carries some home-made savory or sweet for their group.You could actually get the feel of the festival in the cramped compartment.

Peak hours ,the coaches would be crowded and fights for “space” or “place” was a common affair.The verbal abuse can convert into a physical fight beginning with people pushing with their elbows then slapping or even pulling each other’s hair – this kind of fight is ofcourse more in the ladies compartment.

We Mumbaikars practically commute by trains daily as it is cheaper and faster – meeting our friends in the mornings while going to work and again while returning back in the evening is a perfect recharge 😊.

Evenings would be tired faces,some would rest their head on one another and take a nap.The married women would have bought veggies to cut or peas to peel.It’s more like a group activity and gets done in no time.Many would have family\children waiting at home for dinner so it’s a time saver.

For those who do not know about Mumbai trains –

The trains here are amongst the world’s most busiest and are always overcrowded.The highlight of the Mumbai trains is that doors always remain open.

How you feel about such a gruelling train travel depends on how you think about it. You could either love it or you could hate it.

It’s taught me to be more tolerant and patient. These journeys brought people from different backgrounds together and closer each day.

We proudly call ourselves “train friends” identified by our train timings.

We have a WhatsApp group for “8:20am Goregaon Local “♥️

Good friends are like siblings from another mother.

Their honesty helps me improve and grow.

They forgive me for my mistakes even without an apology.

Their belief in me helps me take the road to the toughest destination.

They may not always be around physically but I know they are there and that’s what makes the difference.

We don’t need to have everything in common – hobbies or likes.The fact they encourage me to pursue mine and also enjoy doing the common together reflects the mutual respect.

Telepathy works based on the intensity of the friendship – my bestie for three decades will vouch that when she reads-

We don’t meet or talk like we did in our growing up years but we both know we have each other’s back.The beauty of our relationship is – we don’t interfere in each other’s life,share the same wave length,can complete each other’s incomplete sentences and most important we know when to advise and when to keep quiet.

I have been very fortunate to have good friends around who have encouraged me and motivated me when I have been low.

I have bumped into such jewels in every phase of my life so far.

They are a handful but act like a force which never lets me stumble.If I ever judge myself negatively they take it personally ♥️.

I find myself empowered,loved,cared in their presence.

“They are tough to find but lucky to have”.

I wish to express my gratitude to my close circle of friends for being there for me and completing me.

This blog page is only alive because of these friends who trusted me more than anybody else.

Love you and wish you a very “Happy Friendship Day”.

I will need you all today and forever 🤗🧿

School life is an unforgettable part of childhood. There is something very special about childhood that no other phase of our life can replace.School years give you plenty of time to bond and grow in the relationship.

Always bringing back nostalgic memories.

Friends we make during our school days mostly last for a lifetime.

School friends have seen us through almost everything possible and haven’t left our sight.Some may have drifted apart but its always the same when we meet again. We not only cherish those moments spent in school but also the energy we shared.

We have literally grown up together eating each others tiffin,listening to the same kind of songs and scoring almost the same marks. We have often covered up and completed journals for each other.All these memories and moments have defined and shaped us.

What we are today is the outcome of our childhood experiences and learnings.

The front benchers and back benchers though in the same classroom would have had totally different memories and experiences.

These memories always bring out the child in us and protects us from every negativity.

You never have to pretend to be somebody else as there is no fear of being judged.

Most of us wore that uniform together once and gave it up also together.

You must be wondering what made me remember school today –

Yesterday I learned from a friend that we lost one of our school mate.Have not seen the person in two decades but still memories of the classroom are so fresh in my mind.

Looking at the school – black and white class photo I was struck by how I recognized the 8-9 year old face staring at me and taking me back to class banters.I cannot remember the person beyond the eyes of a 15 year old.

Such is life!

We leave a lot of things behind and move on to different phases of our life but one recap is enough to shake us up.

Since yesterday I am mentally stuck in school wearing the uniform with all my dear friends wishing to turn back time just once..

Prayers for the departed soul.

Rest In Peace,Om Shanti🙏

The world is divided into two kinds of people – math lovers and …………….

Today let me introduce you to a Math maniac in my family –

As a young child I loved mathematics.I don’t know whether I loved the subject more or my tutor.My love for math stems from learning it with my father. He did not focus on rote memorization but on live examples and relatable facts.It was never a boring session with him.The examples are still so fresh in my mind that I use it while tutoring my kids.Well he was not an easy tutor but very strict,disciplined and super passionate.

(I hate to say was but I lost him 22 years back)

He had a significant influence on me and other children he tutored to develop an unique level of interest for the subject.He always chose to tutor average or below average kids after his working hours.He not only tutored them but changed their mindset towards the subject.He believed that you need to fall in love with the subject first.Those were the days when bread earners did multiple jobs to run the house.He held a BE degree,was a Mechanical Engineer.Teaching math was his passion so after office hours he would go the child’s house to teach.He was teaching a few kids from the Bollywood families where he received a handsome fee and simultaneously also taught kids from not so well off families where he took a nominal fee.He had only one aim spread love for mathematics and grow his clan 😊.I used to find it strange when his friends called him on the landline (he never saw the mobile phone era)to seek help solve trigonometry sums for their children.He would patiently solve it in a paper and write down a detailed explanation and read it over the phone.My chest would swell with pride every time I witnessed.For me he was no less than a Hero.

Similarly I remember the days when I was studying in a school in Mumbai and he worked in Vishakhpatnam.How much I missed my tutor!

We had inland letters then -I used to write my queries to him and he would reply back with detailed explanations both in written and pictorial format.If it was urgent he would call me and explain.Where do you get Fathers like this???

His children who scored less than 50% passed out with more than 85% and a fully changed attitude.

They still carry very high regards for him.

(Some more about him)

His mornings began with solving cryptic crosswords from the newspaper and the day ended with a good read (mostly Readers Digest).He also had his unique habit of teaching us one new word everyday – meaning and how to apply it.

His height of craziness is beyond imagination.Let me share an incident with you-

Once he was traveling alone from Mumbai to Vishakhpatnam in a train and accidentally hit his head on the upper berth just before he reached his destination.There was a cut and he started bleeding,luckily a co-passenger came to his rescue,gave him first aid and told him to see a doctor immediately after getting off.

Normal people surely do not behave in this manner.So here my crazy papa meets the doctor and gets a few stitches little above his forehead.People normally ask for pain killers but he asked for a plain paper and here he is writing down all possible math formulas just to be sure that the bang hasn’t harmed his math memory.

Well I can’t even imagine what thoughts doctor would have got 🤪.This incident was proudly shared by him to me over the phone.

That was little bit about my papa’s crazy side.He was surely one of a kind.

I keep him alive in my memories and writings♥️

More for next time..

Being a mother is incredible!

You need not give birth to a child to get that emotion correct. Being an older sister or an aunt \having a pet one can have the same emotion.

Childlessness still remains a huge stigma in our society where women are often defined by motherhood. In some parts of India if you are childless you are not allowed to participate in certain rituals.

How cruel is that?

I am sure there are similar stories in other parts of the world.

Why is not having a baby still a taboo?

There can be various personal reasons attached to it –

a CHOICE, miscarriage, stillborn or any other medical issue in self or spouse; reasons could be various –

a childhood abuse or abusive relationship with the parents…

Have you ever thought how your behavior or question could affect the person?

How do you decide to guess their reason –

For you their biological clock is ticking, but for them it could be on mute.

Why do you expect them to share the reason with you??

Why would you sympathize or judge them??

Who made you the authority???

Have you ever thought about it…

Well some would say,we care so we ask.. if you care leave it to them..

Let them choose you to confide upon, you need not volunteer…

Sadly it’s women most of the times questioning or taunting the other..

Children don’t bring happiness or complete families if that was the case only people without children would go for legal battles..

Maintaining the peace and harmony is everybody’s responsibility in a family.

Respect the person not their titles..

Each one has his or her own definition to happiness..

There is no standard way of living a life..

Our script writer ,”The almighty” has a plan for all of us why not focus on our own role.