You may all have a favorite corner in your home.I have one too.

A cozy,silent corner where I can hear myself.Its a simple corner decorated with things I like.My emotions easily come out there and the silence helps me plan my day and take decisions.It also takes care of my mood and gives me peace.

A single couch with a high back rest takes good care of my lower back.

Newspaper stand and a bark wood table with my piping hot fresh ginger tea.That’s all it takes to fuel me up for the entire day.

Can’t miss mentioning about my indoor green plants which surround that space adding to the beauty of my corner.Plant lovers would agree that a plant filled home is a happy home.

I would say don’t ignore the corners of your living room\bedroom,a simple decor,a mild accessory or putting your knick knacks to the best use can convert the ignored corner to a cosy place which would complement the entire room.

Do not use the corners only to create storage spaces let it also become a space to store your happiness and your vent.A vertical bookshelf and some cosy cushions over those storage spaces will be perfect for your “me times”.Slow and soothing music played in the background sets the mood.

Size is not important but that space is essential in order to feel calm and relaxed.

We all need a place where we can be true to self,without putting up faces and cutting out fully from the maddening world. A place that allows you to relax and rejuvenate,calms your hassled nerves after a stressful day.

A place where you can start your day and also retire.A safe and secret corner with no interruptions.

Writing this from my favorite corner where I choose to start and retire each day – a place of solace and solitude.

It’s said that you will always find your happiness just around the corner.So the trick is to figure out which is your right corner.

07/09/1999 💔

Today is my father’s 22nd death anniversary.He was 50 years old when he departed.No ailments at all.Left behind a 42 year old wife (today this age gives me goose bumps) and two children.

Year after year I have remembered him more and missed him even more.

Coincidentally it’s the same day of the week this year,Tuesday.

Many of you have been reading my messages every year and have been sending me hugs and strength from around the world.

It’s become more like a virtual Remembrance Day.

My writings on him is my way of celebrating his life.

He gave me the most priceless gift one could give ,”the trust in me”.

“Father” to me means love, respect, care, home,trust,support,sacrifices and much more. Only those who have a lost a parent will understand the real pain so keep calling them when you can.

We have never celebrated Father’s Day in my young years so never got to celebrate one with him.Now when I see people around calling their fathers or sending messages its painful and feels as if someone just punched me in my stomach.

My mobile has never saved his number.I don’t know how it feels when it rings as “Papa calling”.So no digital pictures or videos for me.I remember his voice clearly,still hear him call me sometimes,especially the days when I am messed up and need his advice.

That has been the cornerstone of our relationship.

When I see my friends or cousins talk to their fathers – have to admit,I get jealous at times.I just isolate myself to our world where we have the same conversations and start imagining his replies.

In the growing up years it’s normal to have disagreements with parents which sometimes convert to arguments.Now being a parent myself I realize that most times the stand I take matches with my fathers’.

It took me to become a parent to understand him better.

Papa,wish you stayed back and saw me graduate and grow

Wish you mentored me when I began working

Wish you stayed back,got me married and met my husband

Wish you saw my son who shares the sun sign with you

Wish you saw my daughter who is the reflection of my childhood

I miss you more now because you would have been the best grand parent they could ask for.If you were physically around, my children would not have missed out on so much that they are missing today.

You haven’t seen your grand children but they know you.They know that you are alive in my heart.

“They love you”.

You come naturally in their conversations (thatha- that’s how they address you).

That’s where I feel proud of myself -I have defeated the death and kept you alive.When we are having family conversations one can never make out that you are physically absent from our lives and kids haven’t ever met you.

Remembering you today is a great agony and this feeling just can’t be described in words.It opens up old wounds and rekindles memories.

We only lost you physically when you were cruelly taken away by a power we couldn’t fight.

Instead of getting caught in a whirlwind,I decided to hold myself and take charge of celebrating your life with my near and dear family\friends.

On this day when I lost you- I lost a father, a friend and an idol who I looked up to.Wish we knew the end was nearing, would have given you a memorable farewell.There was so much to ask you and tell you.You left us without uttering a word 😔.There were no Goodbyes.

Life can be a traitor!

Thankyou for all the memories we created together.

There is no manual to follow or a normal way to react to this.Each one has his own way to remember.

I promise to keep you alive in me till eternity.

Miss being with my mom today.Wish I could travel home and give her a tight hug🤗

Manoj and I had some work today morning so we had stepped out.Friday being a holiday in this part of the world,kids were at home lazing.

It was a good 90 min drive.After having our normal conversation there was a long pause.Our conversations are generally related to our kids.

Like most of you know that I have a good,photographic memory and I fairly remember the minutest details about my childhood and growing up years.

I ended the pause by asking him if he remembered anything interesting about his childhood with his dad and he just took off from there.

Now you know how I get my topics 😉

For we Indians who are now in our 40’s would remember that in our growing up years two wheelers were no less than owning a luxury car.

Bajaj Super the two stroke 150cc was a prized possession then.Owning one was like having unsaid family member.It was sturdy and reliable.That was their first family possession.

In few years they upgraded themselves to Bajaj Chetak indeed a family scooter literally meant for the “hum do humare do” kind of a family. Robust vehicle with a perfect balance.If you owned one those days it was a sign of pride.Going down the memory lane and reliving the unforgettable journeys with Chetak.

Chetak was a big craze those times and also had a waiting period for purchase.

It was named after the famous horse of Maharana Pratap and truly made the rider feel the pride of a king while battling the daily struggles of life.

He told me how he progressed slowly from sitting behind to standing in the front.At first when he was a toddler he sat on his mother’s lap while his father rode the scooter.Then when he grew a little big he sat between his parents ,literally squeezed between them.Later when his younger sister made her debut it was a musical chair once again.She took the mother’s lap and there was no space for him in the middle and he got his final upgrade of standing in the front between his fathers knees.

I am sure you can visualize the enduring picture of an Indian middle class family.

How can one forget the most iconic jingle “Hamara Bajaj” though it’s now off air -“Buland Bharat ki buland tasveer'” (A strong India’s,strong picture).

Those days for a middle class,four wheelers were decidedly unaffordable and hence these scooters ruled.

Whether it was about taking short trips to the local vegetable vendors or a young couple going for a romantic spin, this scooter had seen it all.

This is one memory we all surely carry -if it ever ran out of fuel, all you had to do was put it on a stand, tilt it and then restart ,one of the best Indian jugaads (tricks).

Another interesting thing in those days was that marriages got postponed if there was a delay in the delivery of Chetak ,a standard “dowry”.

This was all we could recollect in the time we had 😊.

Bajaj Chetak is immortalized in our memories!

I am a wife,a homemaker and it’s my choice. My husband didn’t ask me to take this decision.Some circumstances lead you to make tough calls in life.Its never easy to leave a flourishing career.

We didn’t know at start,how things would progress and how long it would take.All we knew was we were in this together. Between us nothing has changed till date.The mutual respect has only grown with time.

That’s about us.

But thats not how the people around perceive a homemaker.Their opinions don’t affect me because my reason is bigger but at the same time cannot be ignored.Not all home makers are fortunate like me and hence somebody has to do the talking.

So here it is –

I don’t mind doing things for him because he does so much for me.We are a team and are interdependent on each other.We don’t discuss who did more work at the end of the day but we discuss how was our day.We share the key things, challenges and give tips to each other.We instill the same values in our kids.Our kids know their parents have a defined role to play and they respect us equally.

Friends -Acquaintances,their normal reaction to the term “Home maker” is most times very disrespectful and taunting.

A homemaker also wakes up early in the morning to ensure the comfort of all her family members.She then does all the chores silently without demanding any kind of credits.Remember one thing she does not have a salary to look forward to or any kind of perk.Whatever she does is out of pure love and care.

Working all seven days a week with no holiday and no salary is not easy. After all the hard work and back breaking efforts, what she gets to hear is, “Oh, you are just a homemaker, you sit at home the whole day with no work to do”.

We buy weekly groceries,make breakfasts,pack tiffins,drop kids to school come back to clean,cook,laundry,monitor budgets,pick the kids,teach,nurse when a member is unwell,manage the running about for extra curricular activities,return home,rush to get the dinner ready,clean again,prepare for next morning.We make the house a home.It takes a lot to keep a household running smoothly, and a homemaker is often charged with running everyday errands.There is lot of work if you have actually witnessed one true one who diligently takes care of the minutest need.There are no tea breaks for them.Its a monotonous job so one needs to keep up the spirits to do the same things day in and out.

Likewise working women are also hardworking,those who actually work.It works the same way either ways.There can be a hardworking home maker and a lazy working woman and a lazy home maker and a hardworking working woman.Depends on whom you have come across.Hence,it’s not right to generalize.

The ones who have criticized are also present here and also the ones on the receiving end.

Yes you are right,we don’t make a monetary contribution to the family.

Does that make us less worthy than you? Financial independence is important but isn’t it more important to respect a person’s choice?

If you find us so lucky why don’t you make a decision and become lucky.What’s the fear?

Why should we face so much criticism ?

Why do you call us ambition-less?

Who really gave you the right to look down on somebody else’s choices and assign a value to them?

I have been on both sides -A working woman and a home maker.I never judged or valued a person on what she got home.

I have respected my mother,grandmothers,mother-in-law for being amazing home makers.They have infact brought up their children with great values(my father and my husband are great examples).

They were all educated and they never thought of encashing their education for a paid job.A choice they made.

Should we respect them less for that? Should we use the term jobless?

It’s not only about me but all those women who have taken bold steps either to stay home and nurture their family or step out and work for their family.

Both are not an easy choice.

People judge others only when they are not happy with themselves.

Next time before you comment on someone do a selfcheck.🧿

(I am only a voice here)

You may be a 40 year old son\daughter,15 years of marriage making that your marriage age and a 10 year old parent.

As a child you would have established yourself,as a spouse you will graduate soon and as a parent you are still coping.That clearly defines our experience in those roles.

Hope that split makes you feel a little better about yourself.

We choose to behave or react according to the relationship.

Sometimes filling the role or fitting ourselves in that role can be as a challenging as a live stage performance.Some transition themselves beautifully from one role to the other.Its practically not possible to create a new version of yourself everyday to fit to these different roles.Switch on -switch off is not meant for all.One performs his role depending on the value the other person assigns to him.

When roles get confused with identity the responsibility and intensity that comes in with it can affect a person.

Our identity determines our roles, not the other way around.

When expectations go high – we do get this feeling,wish we were four of us to handle these different roles\expectations.

Well this is only home what about being a boss,co-worker,colleague,subordinate it all comes with its own level of challenge.

Letting go of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and setting more boundaries can go a long way to improve your health and wellbeing.

Accept yourself and also accept what you can handle.Respect your limits.

Don’t forget about the most important role you play in life – being yourself.

Setting a boundary around yourself limits you.

Sometimes you set these boundaries for yourself and sometimes the people around\society sets it for you.

Some of these boxes are familiar – girl\employee\mother\outspoken\incompetent\housewife\retired\short-tempered\physical appearance\gay can be many more.

These descriptions would create a set image in your mind.You may relate to yourself or somebody you know well with one or more of these traits.It can either have a positive or a negative impact on your mind.

We humans are quick in placing people in such boxes and labeling them.

Like we have a box for others they would have one or more for us.It can be suffocating for us once we find out what people think about us.

If you feel you don’t fit there or don’t deserve to be there and it’s making you uncomfortable-first take control of the box and then shape it as per your desire.

Expand your thoughts\box and you will see there is life beyond that.Only when you step out you will notice there are directions printed outside the box and those would lead you to a better life or help you move on.To navigate on your life’s GPS getting out of the box is the key.

Do it for yourself and not to please others.What you do does not require anyone’s consent.

Do not box yourself.If you get boxed by somebody else’s thought just be true to yourself.If it’s right accept it and be happy.People around are just waiting with boxes ,kick the wrong one and hold your head high out of the right one.A confined identity is a miserable way to live.

Before you make a decision of living in the box forever,”PAUSE”.

Confront yourself and ask ,” Do these people matter to me more than myself”.

If not this box ,the society will find another box for you.

So first accept yourself,acknowledge your reality then be true to self and you would never need anybody’s approval to live.

When we are self-accepting we are able to embrace all facets of ourselves.

Love yourself -Strive to be original not perfect ❤️

Is every argument or disagreement worth a fight?

First be wise enough to choose your battle.

Second try to understand if the opposite party deserves to be explained for his\her ignorance or just needs to be made quiet.

If the relationship is important then it’s sometimes fine to lose the argument.Your instincts can be the yardstick.Calculate the downside risks before getting into it.

Fighting too many battles at the same time can lead you to a mental,physical and emotional drain.People around you will inevitably suffer.So it’s important to take a stand.

There is no need to react to every opinion, every comment and every situation.

Choose wisely whether to pick it,push it for another day or just kick it and move on.

Do not pick a battle for someone else just because the person is timid.Let people fight for themselves as we all have enough to deal with.

If your instinct says you should pick it irrespective of the consequences,just go for it.In the bargain you may lose some people but at the end you will be able face yourself in the front of mirror without an iota of regret.

Whatever decision one takes he\she needs to remember that it cannot be on the basis of how many people would stand by him\her but will your conscience support it.

We all need to live with ourselves more than anybody else.

If it keeps reoccurring with the same set of people affecting your mental health then the treatment is keep the toxic away.They may come disguised as family or friends treatment still remains the same.

Do not let them in,it’s like keeping trash that cannot be recycled.

Let me take you on a trip down the memory lane 😊

You will agree with me that each generation of students will have a distinct way to remember their school years.

There is nothing that could really match the excitement of stocking up on quirky stationery supplies because that’s the only thing we could flaunt to our classmates back then! 

My generation that’s the mid 80’s-90’s were obsessed with these stationery items –

1.If you owned a multi purpose pencil box with multiple functions then you have the pencil case of your dreams.

2.The single multi colour pens.Why bother to have four separate pens when one could do?

3.Using ink pens – especially the hero pens with the logo just above the nib.Prized possession.

4.Push-up pencils – you can’t afford losing the tiny lead inside the white plastic.Biggest fear then😊

5.The slim lead pencils for which you bought the lead separately.The most irritating part being the breaking of the lead while inserting it into the pencil.Who makes such leads which cannot even handle the tiniest of pressure??

6.The Camel\Helix-Oxford geometry box.I need to confess here “I have till date never used the set squares”.

7.Full utilization of the resources ,something we learnt very young-sharpening the pencil on both sides,using one note book for multiple subjects by just folding pages in a triangle shape to divide the book (looked more like a samosa with a line in the middle).

8.Selecting the name labels with your favorite characters and not to forget the stickers that go along to enhance the beauty of the cover.

What an irony – Today’s kids barely have books to carry and are offered lockers in school on the other hand we had bags heavier than our BMI and it never got addressed.

School reopens for my kids soon and all their excitement and shopping has rekindled some of my old memories.

Please share your memories too 😊

If I had the chance to go back in time,I want to relive my childhood and growing up years with you creating more memories.

I am lucky to have been blessed with a friend as wonderful as you.Every year on your birthday, I get reminded of how much you mean to me.

Today on your birthday I just want to thank God for sending you into this world just before I made my debut 😊.This makes me confidently smile and say that you have been always there for me.

Your birthday reminds me of our celebrations together and how anxiously I used to wait to be the first to wish you.

I may have not been a good friend in the last couple of years.I have not been in touch often but not a single day has passed by when I have not thought about you.I seek comfort in the fact that our friendship is so beautiful that even if we spoke after a while it would just be like we spoke yesterday.

Our childhood is very close to my heart and unforgettable only because of you.Friends like you come once in a lifetime.Many around have seen our friendship blossom and will vouch for it.

Promise you one thing I won’t let you down and will be there for you till eternity.

“Try me,Test me and when you turn around you will find me”.

Today,I wish you love, hope and everlasting joy and happiness.

Happy Birthday dearest Lochana (Lochu)♥️😘🤗

Grandmothers are generally responsible to hold the whole family together in one thread.

I am the eldest of her 5 grandchildren.

My paati (mom’s mom) whom I fondly called paapi instead of paati as I couldn’t say “ta” as a baby.

Its strange but all my cousins and friends also called her paapi 😊.

Words can’t describe how deep her absence is felt.

She was an avid reader and also had an elephants memory.She would patiently sit down and note down recipes from the magazines.

She has been responsible for our happiest childhood memories.Have never heard her say “I am tired”,even once.She was always on her toes to make the best of snacks and coffee for all who came home.

Nobody leaves her house without having her famous filter coffee.Kitchen was never closed like we have it with our generation-it’s weekend and kitchen is closed.

That generation was different how much ever we try we cant match their energy.

I was lucky enough to learn a lot of our delicacies from her.Every Mumbai visit I would nag her to teach me something new.She was also very good with home remedies for kids.

Our generation and the next were lucky to have the home made baby food prepared by her 😊.

Sambar powder,Dosa powder,Pickles and traditional fryums (karuvadam) were all patiently made yearly and packed for us to carry.

Every Mumbai visit was like Diwali for us – all savouries and sweets would be prepared before we reached.She never wanted us to miss on anything.She also knew very well about all our favorite dishes.

She makes the best rava ladoo,besan ladoo,mysore pak,kalakand (tertipaal)..all sweets 😊.. how can I miss mentioning her chole bature 😊.Her baturas (fluffy,deep fried Indian bread) were a hit always.

Our paapi has never shown any fuss to try any new food or cuisine.She loved Chinese food and maggi.Her favorite was the kulfi (traditional Indian ice cream) from the hand cart guy 😊 near our house (Datta Mandir).

People who were close to her knew that she loved collecting plastic bags and was never happy parting with them or sharing 😬😊.

I still remember the days when I have been unwell she would sit besides me and wait for me to fall asleep.

We did have our share of fun and disagreements but I never thought it would end so soon.She has been a strong pillar of support to us after we lost our father.

My kids fondly call her Big Paati.

Paapi has left us with a heartache no one can heal

but her love leaves a memory no one can steal.

We do find comfort that our lives have been enriched by having shared her love.

We will always love you and miss you.

May your soul Rest In Peace 🙏.

A small tribute from me to her♥️