I am a Imperfectly perfect mom.

Sometimes I expect too much of myself and forget to embrace who I actually am.

By trying to be perfect each time I succumb to the pressures of becoming an overachieving mother to an extent I lose my identity.

I do not need to strive to be a perfect mom,I can just be a good one.

There have been some difficult days and I have managed to pull it off.

Why do I not credit myself on that little achievement?

Why do I overthink calling it a mothers job?

Why do I get so hard on myself ,mistakes will happen as there is no script for me to follow.

Why do I measure myself by an impossible yardstick as that will only set me up for a certain failure.

Now I tell myself let the standards slide I am entitled to my feelings and happiness.

I have my own style and I don’t follow anyone and at the same time not expect anyone to follow me.

It takes time to get to that wisdom.It’s a journey where your child grows and you mature as a mother.

I do not want to be a super mom – I want to be just a mom who is part of the family photograph.Any extra attention given to me directly increases the pressure of being a mother.

Happy Mother’s Day to one and all mothers ❤️.

Just be a mother (no adjectives attached).

You are the best your child has.

Do you pack surprises in lunch boxes- for your spouse or children 😊

Surprise need not always be a special snack\dessert.

I pack small notes for them on their special days and also on days when they are unusually stressed.

These are not long letters but a few lines of funny and quirky lunch box notes that would bring a smile on their face.

It doesn’t take much time and my experience says it has an immediate effect and has a long lasting benefit.

We do live in the WhatsApp era but let me tell you hand written notes still hold a very special place in one’s heart.

Unexpectedly receiving something special can be very heart warming.

A simple way of brightening their day and practicing a simple way of teaching them how to find and give happiness.

Some days can be stressful at work and you can just make out reading their faces – why not sneak an old picture or a memory which breaks the chain of stress for few a minutes and rejuvenates their mind.

If there is an examination at school or a cricket match -I can’t always be physically present with them but these secret notes can travel in their bags – helps them to stay brave and gives them the confidence that no matter what happens I will be there for them.All they need to do is their best honestly.

Well these days I get surprised with “Thank you notes” and lots of hearts ❤️

One shouldn’t be disappointed or feel offended by the first reaction or emotion he receives.

You are the party communicating but the opposite party will take sometime to process it.Instant reaction need not always be in your favor.It can be driven by a library of beliefs, biases, and prejudices of an unconscious mind.Many a times we regret at our own first reactions.

Response is slower compared to reaction as it will be based on information,facts and a conscious mind.

Reaction and Response may look alike but are very different.

Response may not always be positive but it will be backed up by both your conscious and unconscious mind.

Follow the pause technique whenever you feel you are about to react.Take a deep breath and then gather yourself fully to respond.It helps you align your thoughts and rearrange your prejudices.

This only comes with practice and needs a constant effort.

Since the year 2020 we adapted to a different reality, turning living rooms into offices and bedrooms into classrooms. The morning commute for the working and children could be measured in metres not kilometers.

Handshakes and hugs were banished when we needed them the most.

2021,vaccinations were manufactured and a large population was successfully vaccinated.

For the past two years we have led a life following rules abiding social distancing due to the coronavirus pandemic. We started celebrating new year within the comfort of our homes.

When we just felt that things are getting better and there once again we see a surge of covid 19 cases everywhere. Countries have started taking steps to target the unvaccinated citizens and are also running programmes to vaccinate young children.

We should continue to act as sensible humans\citizens and follow rules.

Post vaccination symptoms may be mild for you but do follow the quarantine because you may be lucky not everyone is.

Now cast your worries a side in a few hours 2022 will knock at your doors.

Though celebrations are muted this year also as the pandemic continues to ride the Omicron wave.Restrictions have been put in place to slow the spread of the highly-infectious variant.

God had a reason,he got us all together two years back and reminded us the simple ways of life and gave us the belief that we will fight it as one.

Asking for good health,good food,sound sleep,true friends and peace. These are my wishes for you as we enter 2022.

Wishing one and all a very Happy NewYear!

The last two years of pandemic has undoubtedly been a testing time for those of us separated from their loved ones.Its the hardest part of being an expat and extremely challenging.

It threw everyone’s lives into disarray and has kept us apart for too long.

Due to travel restrictions and bans we couldn’t make our annual trips back home.It was inevitably beyond our control.

Some of us suffered a phase of terrible lows including me.Loneliness and anxiety kept playing games in my head.

For so many of us, life stood still. Holidays were spent on Zoom calls and waving at friends across the street.

There was always an anxiety after learning a family member or friend has got tested positive till they got better.Loss of lives and not being able to be physically present in the final journey took a toll on the mental health and well-being.

Every phone call from home would increase the heart beats (not my people God -is all that we prayed).

Checking the number of cases everyday to the number of deaths had become an unsaid ritual.

Mornings began by calling back home and ensuring all are safe and it continues.

Now we make time consciously.

Back home in India where my folks live there are always network issues and I could never have a video call with my mom.It used to sadden me a lot.Its been two years I haven’t seen her.The only respite was she is safe with all the complexities she already has.

Now finally the time has come when I will meet her and hug her tight.

Yes,she is coming home and my only prayer now is her safety.

These two years have been really long and now these last 24 hrs seems even longer😊.

I am right now that kid who is eagerly waiting for the first glimpse of her mother after a long wait.

Thanking my uncle and aunt for coming along with her.Anxiously waiting to get together and make up for the lost time.

When you repeatedly hurt someone with your words or actions it’s nothing but bullying.

It is deliberately misusing the power verbally\physically or socially intending to harm the person psychologically.

Sometimes it’s between peers\equals (same age group) and sometimes between between people with a significant age gap.

It’s never a single incident but always a repetitive or series of events.

Bullies don’t understand normal social emotions like guilt, empathy, compassion etc.These are the people who actually need help from a mental health professional or counselor.

To me bullies are attention seekers.They might think bullying is a way to get popular.Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important and powerful.

Bullies actually are cowards because they only pick people whom they can over power.They pick quieter or shy kids\people.

Bullying starts very young -teenagers get trapped easily as they are already dealing with a lot of physical and emotional changes – How do we teach our kids to empower themselves?

Firstly we need to teach our kids to accept and respect themselves.

Secondly we need to help them get brave to accept the situation.

Thirdly we as parents should stand by them,listen to them carefully keeping our own emotions under check.They need our reassurance and support.

Always emphasize that his\her safety and well-being is of utmost importance.They should always be encouraged to talk to an adult about any problems that come their way.

The better they feel about themselves lesser it affects their self esteem.

Always tell them about their unique qualities that makes them special.

Encouraging healthy relations with them can affect self-esteem, increase their confidence and prevent any potential bullying situations.

When they come and tell you that they have diffused the intentions of the Bully,let them know how proud you are.

This will help them help somebody else tackle a similar situation.

Creating positivity is a chain and we should all keep our eyes and ears open to step up and fight against this serious social issue.

My first born turns 13 today.Its a milestone birthday for both of us.

I sit back today and cherish all my memories with him from the time he was a toddler to this day when he unlocked the level “teenager “😊.

We have had our share of roller coaster in the initial years but we braved it together.

It’s been a pleasure in watching him grow up to be a fine teenager.

I am a proud parent today because I see a compassionate person in him.

I won’t ask him to conquer the world or prove himself.

He can make mistakes,stumble down as it’s all part of growing up.

All I would like to tell him is never give up,it’s ok to pause and revisit.Never let the hunger to learn die out.Whatever he chooses to do in life we will forever be proud of him.

My heart booms with pride when I see him help the needy.Never stop being you.

It comes very naturally to him from a tender age.

He should chase his dreams,keep working hard and we will always be there for him.

We only get to be a teenager once in a lifetime and he should enjoy every moment of this awesome phase.

My heart beats for you son ❤️

Wishing you a very Happy Thirteenth Birthday.Have wonderful day and year ahead.Lots of love.

Living in poverty violates the fundamental right to dignity.

Loss of dignity is a much bigger issue than poverty. Some of the poorest people are the most dignified whereas some of the rich lack the dignity.

When we keep the desire to help – maintaining their dignity should be our first priority.

The help we wish to offer – need not always be direct,it need not be posted on social media and it shouldn’t be done with any expectation in mind.

Like the saying goes,”Your left hand should not know what the right hand is doing”.

Today would want to talk about the Heroes on two-wheelers -our delivery boys who also form part of the front line workers who have been selflessly delivering food and other things to us racing with the clock during this pandemic.

They work for different companies who are tied up with these fast food outlets,restaurants,supermarkets…

Their income is based on the number of rides they do in a day.

When you think of them – you can visualize a man with a phone in one hand, an unstrapped helmet on the other,sweat pouring from the forehead and a heavy backpack full of orders.

In the peak summers it can be very tiring and dehydrating for them.They unfortunately don’t have lunch breaks or rest times in the day.They suffer from lack of rest,food and sleep coping with the different shift timings.Everything is on commission basis for them depending on the deliveries they do in a day.

They are doing it for a living and the least we can do is thank them and offer them some water.

The nature of their job is such that they don’t have off days.

We need to understand deliveries are not always fixed ,during the peak hours they will try to maximize their income by pushing themselves to make as many deliveries as possible.

Some of them flout traffic rules just to be on time. The pressure to make every delivery on time sometimes leads to serious accidents.

In the last few days I witnessed quite a few bike accidents and it has been a very heart breaking and helpless sight.The long working hours and the scorching heat leads to these fatal accidents. These drivers do not have proper health insurance or accident cover. Indeed a very critical condition.

There is not much we can do but atleast treat them as humans,respect them,address them by their name and not look them just as a delivery boy.

Ordering an extra snack or juice along with your order may not pinch your pocket much but it may fill his stomach or quench his thirst.

We all can do our bit in our small way quietly.

How can we forget that they have been our life savers delivering critical items like personal hygiene supplies and groceries during the crisis.

Many of us have some delivery coming in every day.

Let us bring a small change in their lives.

Do share your ideas too.

It’s ok to not be ok.

There is no straight road to happiness we need to create them.

We only talk about healthy choices for our physical body.For our mind to be healthy we need to make some healthy and wise choices too.

Unfortunately mental health is one of the most neglected areas.

Some of the most comforting words in the universe are “me too”.When you learn that somebody else you know has gone through a similar road and braved it,that’s a motivation.

We can’t have everything ,so -when your mind is on auto pilot mode (and you have no control over it) –

It’s ok to say No.

It’s ok to accept you are tired and push things for later.

It’s ok to take a break.

It’s ok if you want to be left alone.

Ask for help – there is no shame 🤗

When you were small and you needed extra help with academics you did go for extra classes\tutions – was that a shame,just because some did independent studies..

Maybe a silly example but think about it.

The only aim was to do well\pass – same is with your mental health

You need help go for it..

Take professional help -posting your challenges on social media will not help.

Don’t be ashamed of it -fight it because you are not alone -someone somewhere could be in a similar situation – how you braved it can be an inspiration to that person-

Such posts on social media are much needed!

Once you heal – you may still remember the tough phase but it will no longer control you..

A complex topic can only be made simple to understand with choice words and language that’s easily relatable❤️

Share your positive stories you can save some one!

We all make our own choices in life.

Some right and some I won’t say wrong but could have been avoided.

I feel our tolerance level towards our friends’ drops significantly – dealing with their complex needs,pleasing them doesn’t happen anymore.

Mid 20’s and 30’s we had more tolerance – we were over pleasing and over accommodative which also got us into trouble.We also end up attracting wrong people if we are an extrovert or extremely outgoing by nature.

When the friendship is in the initial stage you like the person but then after investing yourself in it you realize it was too early.

As you age you prefer having less number of friends.You only want to invest in friends who have been in your life for a long time.Those relationships also work because we are not into each others’ lives too much.

Offloading some from your life is an important exercise especially before they fully turn into a burden.Some take you for a ride,some drag you into their personal problems and some turn out to be opportunists.

Stop it at the right time.Inner peace is all you want and deserve.

Its not being selfish at all,it’s just self love.It allows us to relax and refresh. While getting older is inevitable we can choose to be wiser in making choices.This should take care of your mental well being.

Dealing with 40 isn’t easy.Age doesn’t remain to be a number for all.

If your mind and body can handle it then nothing can hold you back.

It’s a transition phase and you learn to embrace the changes it comes with.

Today we are lucky as there is both knowledge and technology to guide us sail through smoothly.

Physical health can equally be challenging at this stage.The good metabolism that you once boasted about may just decide to lift its feet up.It doesn’t mean you eat less but you eat better.Care more and also care less – care more about yourself and care less about what people think,shrug off their comments and keep going.

Hope now it’s falling in place 😊.

For some life only begins at 40.They finally taste success and some brave out to follow their passion.

Each one has their own version of midlife.

When you see yourself in the mirror at 40 – you will see how you have evolved from the 20’s to 30’s and got here.

Today you know the world around is not perfect.Its ok to make mistakes big and small.

You also know that your mistakes will not end the world.All these realizations happen because of your past experiences – you know yourself better by now and that’s helps you fix everything.

We learn to say no, to take occasional breaks, and to be honest with others when something isn’t good for us. We learn to put ourselves first.We no longer need frame things to benefit others but instead look at self benefit.

You no more try to fit yourself in a group but look for one that matches you.

You no longer compare yourself with others and you also stop judging others decisions.You took time but finally realized that you don’t have to live the consequences – it’s their decision and they will live it.

Harsh reality at 40 when you see friends lose their parents,siblings.At first it’s a shock then you realize that you’re at that age where this will happen more and more frequently. You realize that if it hasn’t happened yet,it will one day, and probably sooner than you’d like.

Now you know there is no time to waste.Time for bucket lists.

Reconcile any past differences.You stop procrastinating and just want to make things happen.

There are no rules to life,liberate yourself and listen to your heart.

Whatever is left, live your dreams ❤️