Is there more clarity at Forty?

4 decades is a journey with learnings and unlearning,ups and downs,life lessons,different roles and much more.The list is actually endless.

We may have all had different formats of life but can draw similarities at some stage,one stage ahead or one stage later.Each one at their own pace achieving their own goals and going through their share of struggles.

40’s can be a great time to reinvent yourself. You have the experience,the wisdom of four decades and all you need now is the energy,trust and drive to start fresh.

Reinventing yourself in your 40s can be a daunting task, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. It’s a chance to start over, to create a new life for yourself. So if you’re feeling stuck or unfulfilled,daily life has caught you monotonously and you feel trapped doing mundane tasks don’t be afraid to pause and rethink for yourself. You might be surprised at what you can achieve.

Self realization is the first step and once you are there only look forward to take the next one.

Take baby steps because it’s new for you and don’t be harsh if you couldn’t strike the chord in the first attempt.

You may feel you lost two decades doing something out of your will but remember nobody could fit into your shoes and do it better.

The fact that you are rethinking about reinventing yourself is a bold step that doesn’t come easy to all.

Be proud of your first step.

Some may say you should have planted the tree twenty years ago and the best reply to it would be today is my second best chance to plant it.

For every journey to begin you need to take the first step.I have taken mine.The next twenty years are mine.

What about you?

My parents gave me the roots and my husband gave me the wings to fly.

Best gifts for life ❤️

I may choose to be a full time career woman or choose to be a stay at home mom, thank you for not judging me for the choices I make solely because I’m a woman.

Thankyou for respecting my choices.

Happy Women’s Day !

How much ever effort you put to complete all your responsibilities you will still have something left incomplete when you leave.

A father’s love is forever imprinted on his child’s heart”

It has been decades but it is hard to forget him who gave me so much to remember❤️

You have left behind a legacy of memories for me to cherish.Though it’s been more than two decades that you left your physical body I still have stories of you to share.You have proven the classic example – How much time (quantity) you spend with someone isn’t as important as the quality of time spent.

I celebrate the life you lived and you will be always kept alive through stories and examples for generations to come.

He was the smartest person I’ve ever come across who had an insatiable thirst for knowledge and seemed to always have an astounding fact in his back pocket. Missing those little daily lessons today.

Till the day he lived, he taught us one new word each morning in English – spelling,meaning and usage.Spelling bee wasn’t so popular then but I can say he was way ahead of time for everything.

We all try to make simple rules in the best interest of our kids and family but many a times fall out because of our leniency or laziness.

That never happened with him.Reading every night before going to be bed never seemed like a rule.Well he never forced on what to read.He would read his favorite readers digest and mom loved her magazines 😊.I remember reading my favorite famous five,hardy boys,Sidney Sheldon,Agatha Christe and to Mills and Boon (I remember hiding it inside another book and getting caught by him 😊😊). He told to me there was a genre for every age and as we evolve physically and mentally we don’t need to hide anything.

He would share facts from his reading and encourage me to talk more about what I read.He always encouraged teaching through games – word building or crosswords or even math.

He was also a very disciplined person and expected us to be the same way 😊.Strict or should I say very strict about certain things – punctuality,being truthful….

He never allowed watching television while having food.It was strictly family time.Breakfast and dinner were two meals we had together as a family.

Timings were fixed – none of our friends or relatives would dare to call at that hour unless emergency 😊 (we only had landlines then).

He would serve all of us food and then settle himself.Frankly that made us acknowledge the tasty food prepared by mom each day.Today eating food is a tick box activity – either you are on your phone or working on the laptop.Actually if you think about it ,one just needs to spare a few minutes to eat with family and the rest could wait.

Probably this is why mom served all those varieties of food spread over the table.My father would always appreciate the food served.

I have this faint memory – When we were in Nairobi we were once invited for dinner by a family friend and there were few other families also present.After the dinner ,dessert was served (my memory’s says it was gajar\carrot halwa) it was slightly burnt while reheating (no microwave) and had the burnt taste.The lady of the house did mention while serving and I clearly remember people present there for the heck of it took the tiniest bite and left the bowls full to trash and there at one end I see my dad eating it with ease and finishing it.

Upon asking him he told me -Aunty would have woken up early and throughout day would have prepared all these dishes and one out ten unfortunately got messed that to because she was multitasking to serve all of us her best.

How could we hurt her and today is not the last day I am going eat gajar halwa so it’s fine.Acknowledge the effort, results can be ignored it doesn’t cost much.

To the man who always listened and never judged. You were my mentor, confidante, and best friend. I miss you so much, papa.

24th death anniversary today 🙏

We all find our homes to be the most peaceful place.Its the most inviting place after a long day of work or if you lived away from home.It’s calming to come back and helps us recharge for the next day.

There would be some who wouldn’t feel the same way.They are happier when they are away.

There could be many reasons to it.

One of them could be the clutter in the mind or in the house –

For our minds to find some peace and think clearer we must declutter our homes.

It’s hard to find peace while being surrounded by mess!

One feels happier, less anxious, and more confident by removing or controlling clutter.

There is nothing more important than a good night’s sleep for our mental health. And, most people sleep better in a clean room with a tidy bed. 

It should be a quarterly exercise to sort out things -the first step to take when you decide to start the decluttering process is you take three boxes and label it as – trash, donate, and reuse/repair. Throw all the damaged items in the trash box. If you have items that people can still use, put them in the donate box. And, if you feel you can recycle some of the items, add them to the reuse/repair box.

Most of you would be following this.This will give you space and that empty space could do wonders for you.

There is something more you could do to draw yourself closer to your home.

Create a corner in one room or every room – a me time corner.This does not mean you need big rooms it’s about creating a small space for yourself.

Life gets complicated and exhausting at times especially for those who carry many hats.

Do you see why it’s so important to have something for yourself? A spot where you can relax your mind and regroup yourself from the madness around.

Every room has 4 walls and all you need is a corner for yourself.Take time out to recreate that space.Keep something there that will light up your mind and bring out a smile on the worst situation.

Sometimes pictures of childhood or friends bring back a lot of memories and helps you reset your mood – that means your current stress will get erased out and your good memories will surface up.Every picture has a story to tell.Choose the right one wisely.

Flowers,scented candles or incense sticks have their own way to calm the mind.

Cook your favorite meal and have it.Listening to your favorite music.

Book a spa appointment and pamper yourself.These are all simple things you can do for yourself.

If you are in a state where you want someone to be around then have a SOS group with a couple of trusted ones.We all have that one or two friends whom we could bank on.Send out an alert and hang out with them.These should be the ones who don’t ask questions but allow you to pour it out.

Your 5 senses need to be activated , explore ways to please your five senses to nurture your mind, body, and spirit.These were just my examples what I would do for myself.

Stay Happy! Stay Healthy!

Past is a notion,it no longer exists and sadly nothing can be changed about it.Do not brood over it time and again, you feel despondent.It can only be a guiding light.

Future is unknown – without an objective it’s meaningless.It’s always uncertain.One could only plan for the worst which is important.Have a contingency plan – plan ahead.

Present is now and now is neither past nor future it’s the timeless reality.If you have today in your hands,it’s a gift and hence it’s called present.Grab it,you have the power to make it happen,to evolve.

You may be physically fit but sometimes you just need the mental support to get out of the bed.

You may look mentally strong but sometimes you just need a helping hand.

Ask for help in either case -it doesn’t make you weak or inadequate.

Being compassionate and understanding with ourselves is as important as being with others .Asking for help is perfectly okay and nothing to be ashamed of.

The river cuts through a rock not because of its power but because of its persistence. When you get this feeling that you are not getting anywhere,just stay focused and continue doing what you have to.

Everyday is a new chance to strive again,learn from yesterdays experience and apply it today.

Resilience is like a staircase keep climbing.We may all be at a different step but keep moving and our resilience will exceed the tide of stress.

The key to achieve your goal is taking the first step so stick to your plan.Trust the process.

The ability to bounce back when life throws challenges is the comeback to the setback you had faced earlier.

Having that one person in life who never gives up on you during your hardship and also his\her own hardship.

He who doesn’t see your struggles as an inconvenience and never gets pestered by your problems.That person surely understands this is not something you asked for.If only you could make these bad things go away, you would have.

He who never calls it quits or judges you to make you feel bad\lost\alone.

He who does not make you feel guilty and never stops loving you even when he knows it’s not helping.

He who never forces you to be anyone else or fake an image to please people or him.That person surely knows the difference between “I’m okay,” when it’s real, and when it’s anything but not ok.

Love someone who brings that genuine smile out of you and who can make you happy for just a second in the times you feel the worst.

He who doesn’t hold grudges over things that aren’t worth it. He who reassures you how much he loves you and what you mean to him at the end of each day.

Hold that person tightly who makes you feel loved each passing day.

Love that person unconditionally as humans like him are the ones going extinct in reality.

We just have a handful of such beings who sincerely care and love.

The person who sees you at rock bottom but doesn’t look down upon you.

He who lends his hand and reaches to your level to lift you up.

When you look around do you see anybody like that?

And if you do then you are surely a lucky one ❤️

Today a very known person body shamed me.

Everytime I got body shamed in the past by anybody I would feel hurt and horrible.I could never muster courage to react or defend myself.

I would come home and cry.

Today I kept my calm and reacted to it in my way.

All I told that person was I may look different to you today because of reasons unknown to you.Now that you have already made your comment I choose not to justify to you the reason behind it.

I am still that same girl who grew up in front of your eyes.

I am that same girl who walks to you everytime I am around and checks on your health.

I am that same girl who gives you a smile which you have always admired.Whatever form you see me today may not be pleasing to your eyes but what is within is still the same love and warmth.

In no time the person held my hand and apologized.

This is the best reaction I could give without stooping low and maintaining my dignity.

The fact that somebody thinks your body doesn’t fit their ideal standard shouldn’t make you feel bad about it.

Our beauty standards should come from within and I encourage all of you to love yourselves no matter what the world thinks or says. Perhaps the most criticism about your body comes from your closest friends, relatives,colleagues and the society you live in.

Fight the hate you receive with love by showing some compassion to those who don’t find value in themselves and feel the need to bring others down.

Life is too short to hate but there’s plenty of room for all of us to empower each other with kindness, compassion and love.

We should illuminate our true beauty that goes beyond the world’s expectations of who we should be. We should inspire the people around us as they share their vulnerabilities.There is nothing to hide.

Today I am here,tomorrow you could be in my shoes.

Love the person for who he\she is from within.

The gift wrap may not be very attractive but what is inside could be something you always needed.

New relationships can be very fascinating and mesmerizing initially.If it keeps you close to your loved ones it’s a boon else it’s toxic.

Don’t sacrifice your old bonds for new ones.Today you may find this new connection very poetic but do not forget to acknowledge the old bonds who taught you the notes to read this new poem.

Everything changes when you enter a new relationship but ensure you make room for everyone – the people who were already there and the new debutant.

Do not ghost anyone as they have all been a significant part of your life at some point -good or bad.

All relationships need to be nurtured else they die an untimely death.

No one relationship should diminish the value or overshadow others.

We don’t always choose who we love, but we do get to choose how we love them.Keep them close,prioritize.

Nothing is constant ,sometimes you have to go ,move on and leave things behind.Communicate,that’s least you could do because how you left will always stay with them.

Some people in our life are irreplaceable and their absence makes the heart feel torn apart .A tiny part of you goes out with them.

Looking at “replacing” them is a mistake. If we see each person we meet as an individual with their own unique strengths and weaknesses it’s more realistic to move on even if we lose them.

To heal one has to move on,let go and cherish the memories.

For that to happen closure is important with all those relationships that are no more part of your life.Hence I would once again say communication is important.

Closure helps to deal with loss,rejection and gives clarity why we fell apart and moved on in our respective lives.

Having a variety of relationships with different people is healthy – takes care of your mental health and well-being.

Explore a relationship but not exploit 🙏❤️