We share everything with each other from the time of birth to the growing up years.

Every relationship is also shared.

Growing up in the same household,eating the same kind of food and sharing all the ups and downs the family is going through.

We automatically learn to share and care.

The bond keeps growing stronger with time.

If you are the older sibling you would develop a sense of responsibility towards your younger sibling.

The older sibling also takes care of the social and emotional needs of the younger one. First-born siblings engage in leadership, teaching, caregiving, advocating and helping roles.Most of these can be related by the 90’s kids who come from the middle class families.

If the age gap is bigger you also develop the maternal instinct, fostering a sense of security and stability within the family which happens very organically. Older sisters emulate their mothers giving their guidance and mentorship to the younger siblings.

You are fine to give away your share of chocolates or anything else the younger sibling lays his\her eyes on.

Protecting the younger one from bullies ,standing up for him\her and sometimes advocating for them going against your parents.

Losing to them while playing board games or cards just to make them happy can be quite annoying.

They are your forever guinea pig on whom you could try new recipes.

If you can relate to any of these then you would have had an amazing power packed childhood.

Such relationships have a strong foundation because you grew up with minimal and found pleasures in each others achievements.There were no gifts exchanged but you shared your favorite food together reminiscing the years together.

It’s indeed a moment of pride to see how your sibling is doing well for himself\herself.

A relationship that always reverts you back to your childhood memories.

To all of you siblings who are celebrating today, lots of love to you ❤️❤️

To a girl who turns 11 today.

A girl with whom I got to relive my childhood once again.

My pride and my little friend.

Sensitive

Impactful

Ardent

that’s SIA for all.

I don’t say this because she is my offspring but anyone who has known her would agree she is a keeper.

A girl with a golden heart who is selfless and approachable.

Gives more than she gets and loves more than she receives.

Sia you have brought us immeasurable joy in the last eleven years and we can’t wait to see what this year brings. Eleven years ago, I held you for the first time and got to begin to learn who you are. 

You are a wonderful daughter to us,sister to your big brother and a wonderful human.

To the girl who colors our world in hues of happiness, may your special day be as delightful as you are.” “Sending you a universe of love on your birthday dearest SIA.

God Bless!

While we make plans for a grand wedding and for the perfect life, we hardly bother to think about ,what awaits us immediately after marriage.

Adapting to a new home comes with several challenges. From adjusting to new beliefs and traditions to setting up a new life.New set of parents,siblings and lots more.

The anxiety level is quite similar to first day of college or even more.You were a child till one day,protected by parents and in 24 hours your status has changed and expectations from you is about reach the sky.You have never been without your family,you miss them and everything else ,your bed ,your pillow ,your closet etc..

One really doesn’t know how the first day would be,there are seniors and juniors here too.Would I be ragged ? Would I be treated as one of them? Would I get the time to adjust and learn their way? Would I be judged?

Zillions of questions on the head and butterflies in the stomach.

For some it’s easy and for some it’s no less than an exam with invigilators watching your every move creating a social anxiety. There would always be someone who is silently observing you and all you could do is smile and pretend to be comfortable.

Your brain starts working overtime and your sub conscious mind compares your parents home with this new home.

Back home you would never think twice before using the washroom, wearing weird clothes or even lying on the living room couch.But from the very first day here you always feel embarrassed thinking everybody would notice whenever you use the washroom,the clothes you wear, and be conscious the way you sit and chat with relatives. Feeling hungry? You will feel awkward in heading to the kitchen and look for snacks.

The first few days of marriage only reminds you that your life had taken a major turn and would look forward to the day when you wouldn’t hesitate before doing anything.

You may have opinions but would keep it to yourself,you may not like something about your spouse but wouldn’t know how to communicate in front of others.

You crave for some lone time with your partner and it’s tough to get that with people around.After the whole days work you want to retire early and spend some lone time.How do express your feelings?

But it’s difficult with people around.They have their own routines as a family for so many years and we can’t change them.It also takes time for them to include you in conversations and for you to involve yourself is not easy.

For some it takes months and for some years to feel everything around is normal and there is nothing more to compare with your parents home.It depends on how fast you accept them and they accept you.

Loads of adjustments and tons of patience is the only way to win hearts and has to come from both sides. Acknowledging and confronting these obstacles as a couple can deepen your bond and help you navigate through the bumpy roads to “Happily Ever After”.

Is there more clarity at Forty?

4 decades is a journey with learnings and unlearning,ups and downs,life lessons,different roles and much more.The list is actually endless.

We may have all had different formats of life but can draw similarities at some stage,one stage ahead or one stage later.Each one at their own pace achieving their own goals and going through their share of struggles.

40’s can be a great time to reinvent yourself. You have the experience,the wisdom of four decades and all you need now is the energy,trust and drive to start fresh.

Reinventing yourself in your 40s can be a daunting task, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. It’s a chance to start over, to create a new life for yourself. So if you’re feeling stuck or unfulfilled,daily life has caught you monotonously and you feel trapped doing mundane tasks don’t be afraid to pause and rethink for yourself. You might be surprised at what you can achieve.

Self realization is the first step and once you are there only look forward to take the next one.

Take baby steps because it’s new for you and don’t be harsh if you couldn’t strike the chord in the first attempt.

You may feel you lost two decades doing something out of your will but remember nobody could fit into your shoes and do it better.

The fact that you are rethinking about reinventing yourself is a bold step that doesn’t come easy to all.

Be proud of your first step.

Some may say you should have planted the tree twenty years ago and the best reply to it would be today is my second best chance to plant it.

For every journey to begin you need to take the first step.I have taken mine.The next twenty years are mine.

What about you?

My parents gave me the roots and my husband gave me the wings to fly.

Best gifts for life ❤️

I may choose to be a full time career woman or choose to be a stay at home mom, thank you for not judging me for the choices I make solely because I’m a woman.

Thankyou for respecting my choices.

Happy Women’s Day !

How much ever effort you put to complete all your responsibilities you will still have something left incomplete when you leave.

A father’s love is forever imprinted on his child’s heart”

It has been decades but it is hard to forget him who gave me so much to remember❤️

You have left behind a legacy of memories for me to cherish.Though it’s been more than two decades that you left your physical body I still have stories of you to share.You have proven the classic example – How much time (quantity) you spend with someone isn’t as important as the quality of time spent.

I celebrate the life you lived and you will be always kept alive through stories and examples for generations to come.

He was the smartest person I’ve ever come across who had an insatiable thirst for knowledge and seemed to always have an astounding fact in his back pocket. Missing those little daily lessons today.

Till the day he lived, he taught us one new word each morning in English – spelling,meaning and usage.Spelling bee wasn’t so popular then but I can say he was way ahead of time for everything.

We all try to make simple rules in the best interest of our kids and family but many a times fall out because of our leniency or laziness.

That never happened with him.Reading every night before going to be bed never seemed like a rule.Well he never forced on what to read.He would read his favorite readers digest and mom loved her magazines 😊.I remember reading my favorite famous five,hardy boys,Sidney Sheldon,Agatha Christe and to Mills and Boon (I remember hiding it inside another book and getting caught by him 😊😊). He told to me there was a genre for every age and as we evolve physically and mentally we don’t need to hide anything.

He would share facts from his reading and encourage me to talk more about what I read.He always encouraged teaching through games – word building or crosswords or even math.

He was also a very disciplined person and expected us to be the same way 😊.Strict or should I say very strict about certain things – punctuality,being truthful….

He never allowed watching television while having food.It was strictly family time.Breakfast and dinner were two meals we had together as a family.

Timings were fixed – none of our friends or relatives would dare to call at that hour unless emergency 😊 (we only had landlines then).

He would serve all of us food and then settle himself.Frankly that made us acknowledge the tasty food prepared by mom each day.Today eating food is a tick box activity – either you are on your phone or working on the laptop.Actually if you think about it ,one just needs to spare a few minutes to eat with family and the rest could wait.

Probably this is why mom served all those varieties of food spread over the table.My father would always appreciate the food served.

I have this faint memory – When we were in Nairobi we were once invited for dinner by a family friend and there were few other families also present.After the dinner ,dessert was served (my memory’s says it was gajar\carrot halwa) it was slightly burnt while reheating (no microwave) and had the burnt taste.The lady of the house did mention while serving and I clearly remember people present there for the heck of it took the tiniest bite and left the bowls full to trash and there at one end I see my dad eating it with ease and finishing it.

Upon asking him he told me -Aunty would have woken up early and throughout day would have prepared all these dishes and one out ten unfortunately got messed that to because she was multitasking to serve all of us her best.

How could we hurt her and today is not the last day I am going eat gajar halwa so it’s fine.Acknowledge the effort, results can be ignored it doesn’t cost much.

To the man who always listened and never judged. You were my mentor, confidante, and best friend. I miss you so much, papa.

24th death anniversary today 🙏

We all find our homes to be the most peaceful place.Its the most inviting place after a long day of work or if you lived away from home.It’s calming to come back and helps us recharge for the next day.

There would be some who wouldn’t feel the same way.They are happier when they are away.

There could be many reasons to it.

One of them could be the clutter in the mind or in the house –

For our minds to find some peace and think clearer we must declutter our homes.

It’s hard to find peace while being surrounded by mess!

One feels happier, less anxious, and more confident by removing or controlling clutter.

There is nothing more important than a good night’s sleep for our mental health. And, most people sleep better in a clean room with a tidy bed. 

It should be a quarterly exercise to sort out things -the first step to take when you decide to start the decluttering process is you take three boxes and label it as – trash, donate, and reuse/repair. Throw all the damaged items in the trash box. If you have items that people can still use, put them in the donate box. And, if you feel you can recycle some of the items, add them to the reuse/repair box.

Most of you would be following this.This will give you space and that empty space could do wonders for you.

There is something more you could do to draw yourself closer to your home.

Create a corner in one room or every room – a me time corner.This does not mean you need big rooms it’s about creating a small space for yourself.

Life gets complicated and exhausting at times especially for those who carry many hats.

Do you see why it’s so important to have something for yourself? A spot where you can relax your mind and regroup yourself from the madness around.

Every room has 4 walls and all you need is a corner for yourself.Take time out to recreate that space.Keep something there that will light up your mind and bring out a smile on the worst situation.

Sometimes pictures of childhood or friends bring back a lot of memories and helps you reset your mood – that means your current stress will get erased out and your good memories will surface up.Every picture has a story to tell.Choose the right one wisely.

Flowers,scented candles or incense sticks have their own way to calm the mind.

Cook your favorite meal and have it.Listening to your favorite music.

Book a spa appointment and pamper yourself.These are all simple things you can do for yourself.

If you are in a state where you want someone to be around then have a SOS group with a couple of trusted ones.We all have that one or two friends whom we could bank on.Send out an alert and hang out with them.These should be the ones who don’t ask questions but allow you to pour it out.

Your 5 senses need to be activated , explore ways to please your five senses to nurture your mind, body, and spirit.These were just my examples what I would do for myself.

Stay Happy! Stay Healthy!

Past is a notion,it no longer exists and sadly nothing can be changed about it.Do not brood over it time and again, you feel despondent.It can only be a guiding light.

Future is unknown – without an objective it’s meaningless.It’s always uncertain.One could only plan for the worst which is important.Have a contingency plan – plan ahead.

Present is now and now is neither past nor future it’s the timeless reality.If you have today in your hands,it’s a gift and hence it’s called present.Grab it,you have the power to make it happen,to evolve.