In my growing up years I never feared to explore and have done quite a bit of stunts scaring the hell out of my parents.
I used to be a good cyclist and have cycled a lot and far in distance hiding away from my parents.
I enjoyed our family long drives and waited to turn 18 and sit behind the wheels.
Little did I know about this phobia till I started learning to drive.I was taken back the first time I learned that I had a fear for something.I took a break thinking it could just be a temporary phase.
Some traumas of childhood also lead to phobias as some have ever lasting impact on your mind and behavior.
But nothing changed I slowly learnt I had this hidden phobia.I wanted to fight it but I lost.
In so many years this is one fear I haven’t been able to conquer.The thought of sitting behind the wheel and getting out on the road has been the most petrifying thought for years.
Like one cannot learn swimming by reading a book, one also cannot learn driving just by attending driving lessons.My mind could never relax behind the wheel and over the years my fears have hardened more.
My better half has been a very encouraging person but he also finally gave into the fear I had.He never accused me or belittled me for not being able to drive a 4-wheel.He also made me understand that we could not fight all our phobias and it’s ok to not drive.I should just accept it and move on.
Conquering our fears is important but at the same time we must also learn to accept that it is perfectly fine that you cannot conquer them all.
I truly admire the women who drive the 4-wheel confidently and fearlessly.
Many people tell me that because I don’t drive I restrict myself from being independent.
What is independence for you may not be independence to me.Frankly I don’t feel that way – I walk a lot,use public transport-metros.In the bargain I make some friends,observe behavior and get to hear a lot of stories which assist me in my writing.
I have gone through tough times when my children were small – but who doesn’t face challenges .
My husband has never criticized me for not being able to drive instead always stood up for me when friends or relatives made a passing statement – That’s what I call a blessing …
He talks more about what I do and makes me feel worthy enough to stand up for myself.
We are interdependent on each other and function like a team.
So next time let’s discuss do’s more than don’ts.Maybe then you may not feel like having this conversation again.Its always easy to embarrass people .
I have quite a few friends like me who face these questions often,all I want to say is “Not being behind the wheel doesn’t make you less competent”.
When you can have cooks for cooking and other helpers for other tasks having driver is no big deal …
Most important thing , it’s our personal choice so suggest only when asked.
Blessmesai 